Formal Complaint

I am lodging a formal complaint against Auntie Alexis and Mattell(where is the copyrights symbol?).  On December the 26th at 1 pm I had my day all planned out.  I had already opened 6 new toys and installed 14 AA batteries into said toys (not and exaggeration!)  I had changed from my pajamas to my sweats, because that was the kind of day I was planning on having.  I had sat down 10 minutes earlier to read some of my steamy romance novel, and I kid you not I had just got done thinking to myself  “It should be smooth sailing from here, they should be happy little girls.”  I hear them in the front room laughing uncontrollably, which in my house means the girls are having fun, but either a) something is about to be broke b) I’m going to be chasing down a dog or cat later to undress them or c) all of the above.  I close my eyes to ignore it, maybe it will go away… Oh, yes, I should know by now it doesn’t work.  I continue reading (my new favorite is Karen Moning).  Out of nowhere I am attacked.  A flutter bye fairy slams into my head.  Caesar (110 pound shepherd) jumps onto me.  The recliner slides 3 feet sideways before toppling over and taking the lamp with it.  I of course am spiraled on the floor with dog on top of me licking my face because he know I am a sucker for a cute face.  Three little girls are laughing like maniacal maniacs.  Flutterbye Fairy is tangled in my hair and do you want to know the worst part?  I lost my page.