Boat for Sale

*Disclaimer- My husband and I are not having any problems.  I would really like the boat gone though.*

1982 Chris Craft 23 foot boat for Sale.

Good looking boat for sale.  However, don’t let appearance fool you.  Something is wrong with the outboard motor.  And before you ask, no I don’t know what.  I am just the wife who has been tasked with getting rid of this hunk of junk sitting in the driveway.  So, anyways, the engine runs, and last time we had it out on the water it had no leaks.

If you are a wife looking for a reason to get divorced, please have your husband buy this astounding mass of fiberglass.  It can bless your drive way while you wait (over 2 years now) for your husband to fix it.  Irreconcilable differences is what they call it when you can’t stand your house looking like Stanford and Sons any more, but he just need “a little more time” to fix this hunk of junk. Or if he is handy, and can fix it, he can take it out on the water and have a “good” reason for being late to your daughter’s dance recital.  Or late to any function he doesn’t want to attend when another thing goes wrong with this blue floating turd.

Please do NOT bother to call if 1. you like your spouse and want to stay married.  2. Have small children you would like to maintain a relationship with or 3. Have a job or any other hobbies you want to spend time on.

Please do call if 1.  Your life insurance is up to date and all premiums paid in full.  2.  Feel no need to maintain relationship with other living people because you will spend all your time with this big blue wonder (it floats) of the sea.  Or 3.  Looking for a reason to end all current relationship, but find it too difficult to vocalize.

But don’t let me completely discourage you. The big blue floating turd does have its positive selling points.

1. It floats. So if you plan on sending your husband off like Tom Hanks in Castaway please include a volleyball on his first and only trip. Or if you would like to Reenact Gilligan’s Island you could.  Although it would be a tight squeeze you could get that many people on there.
2. It is blue and tan. It is a lovely admiral blue (just Googled the color). The tan is a shade called oat. Yep. Googled that too.
3. If you are having a garage sale you can use it to hang clothes on. Unless you have already sent your husband away on it. (Please see picture)

If interested, please call_____________.  Thank you for your time.  Have a good day and if you would like to continue to enjoy your life and relationships, please don’t call.