Bending?

Let me start by introducing myself.  I am H the other member of this dynamic friendship.  S and I share many of the same values, and I worry that sometimes I am bending entirely too much.  I have three little girls (7, 5 and 3), and when my first daughter was born I chewed a relative out while still in the hospital (after delivery) when she made a remark about how beautiful my daughter was and she would marry a rich doctor one day.  My response was something along the line of “she doesn’t need any stinking man!  She will grow up and SHE will be the doctor!”

Well now my oldest is seven and her and the middle girl have just finished their dance recital.  Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud of them!  They both did an excellent job and remembered the entire routine, and preformed perfectly in front of an auditorium full of people! (I could never do any such thing)  This morning I am editing pictures and I see their dance costumes, and the poses that they make with the hands on their hips and their heads cocked just so!  They are too cute!  But there is this nagging little gremlin sitting on my shoulder saying “Look at your girls dressed like that!  Moving their hips like that!  What are you thinking?”  I was on swim team growing up.  Then I played soccer through high school and played the tuba in the marching band.  Their experiences and attitudes are so different than mine.  If you would of asked me that day in the hospital if I would of ever put my daughter in dance I would of firmly responded “Are you out of your mind?  NO!”

It started out so innocently.  My middle girl would not potty train.  She was due to start nursery school in the fall, I had her enrolled, with the deposit down, all set to start in September.  She had to be out of diapers by school start.  I told her in January that if she would just use the potty and we could get rid of the diapers she could go to school like her big sister.  I figured that gave me enough time to mold my strongest willed child into underpants.  Little did I know that she could/would potty train herself in less than 2 weeks.  Well the only “school” I could enroll her in at her age (2) and in the middle of January was “dance school”.  We went to the little diva’s class that starts out showing the kids movement and introduction to dance.  Then in June she was in her first recital.  She was hooked.  As was my oldest who was then enrolled in soccer.  She decided she did not want to do soccer any more.  (My heart was a little crushed.  I wanted to coach an AYSO team the following year)  “It was too much exercise and she didm’t like getting sweaty”.  Well I made her finish out her soccer season, then put her in dance too!

I am worried that I am putting too much emphasis on beauty and presentation.  I know that those things have a place in our society, but I think that more emphasis should be based on how nice, smart and caring you are!

As I am currently jotting down my concerns I look out the back window and see my oldest swing from the tree and my middle shooting her little sister with a squirt gun and the little one fighting back with all fierceness of a lion.  So maybe I don’t need to worry so!  They do have a little of my tom-boy-ness in them.  They will be okay!  I only want the best for them.  I want them to grow up and be strong, independent well adjusted women who have and opinion of their own on who they are and are comfortable with the person they have become.